Ask Buddy

I'm thinking about starting a new BLOG called "Ask Buddy". Buddy is my little mongrel dog. I know he can't really talk and he's not a very good typist, but he is wise beyond his years.
Just yesterday Jilda and I were reading a story in the paper about children with behavioral problems. Buddy seemed interested in the story too and after a few grunts, a scratch or two I realized what he was saying: "Kids don't behave because their parents are too busy to be bothered. A shock collar and three days in obedience school would make a world of difference," Buddy explained.
Another story talked about a philandering politician who got caught cheating on his wife. I looked to Buddy for guidance and he quickly replied.... "neuter him."
I asked Buddy if he had any other advice to which he replied. He went on to say always stretch when you get up in the morning and keep the varmints run off you property. Don't growl unless your gonna bite. Lay out in the warm morning sun whenever you get a chance. Always be loyal to your friends and play every chance you get. Drink a lot of water and never pass up a chance to pee.