Wife

I don't know what size clothes I wear. I come home from work and there are new clothes on my bed. Apparently the clothes fairy comes by every now and then and leaves them. They are always the right color and size. Shoes too. It's amazing. When I get ready to leave for work each morning, there is a lunch kit packed with a nice sandwich and soup. And inside the front pocket of my lunch kit, there is always a treat of some kind.....come to think of it, I'm not sure where the lunch kit came from either. One day I was carrying my lunch in a brown paper bag and the next day there it was....right by my backpack.
O.K. I know it's not the clothes or lunch fairy, it's my wife. She always knows the things I like. I think she has ESPN.
The women with whom I work are always saying they just don't have the time or energy to make their lunch or do other things. I told one woman today that what she needed was a wife. She agreed but she can forget about mine because I'm crazy about her. She works hard herself and still finds time to do things for me. I just hope I'm half as good a mate as she is.