MIlitary Manuals

I don't do this often, but I got an email about funny things in Military Manuals. What follows are some of the listings:

WISDOM - FROM THE MANUAL
"If the enemy is in range, so are you."
Infantry Journal
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"Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never
encountered automatic weapons."
General MacArthur
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"You, you, and you ... Panic. The rest of you, come with me."
U.S. Marine Corps Gunnery Sgt.
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"Tracers work both
ways."
U.S. Army Ordnance
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"Five second fuses only last three seconds."
Infantry Journal
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"Any ship can be a minesweeper...Once."
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"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do."
Unknown Marine Recruit
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Clean it, if it's Dirty. Oil it, if it Squeaks.
But: Don't Screw with it, if it Works!
USAF Electronic Technician
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"If you see a bomb technician running, keep up with him."
USAF - Ammo Troop
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"Yea, Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death , I Shall Fear No Evil.
For I am at 80,000 Feet
and Climbing."
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"You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3."
Paul F. Crickmore ( test pilot )
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A Navigator's Definition of Latitude & Longitude:
Latitude is where we are lost.
Longitude is how long we've been lost there!
USAF Navi-guesser
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"The
only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire."
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"If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a
helicopter -- However, it's probably unsafe in any case "
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"When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane, you always have
enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash."
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"What is the similarity between air traffic controllers
and pilots?
If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies;
If ATC screws up, .... The pilot dies."
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The three most common expressions (or famous last words), in aviation are:
"Why is it doing that?"
"Where are we?" and
"Oh CRAP!"
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" Airspeed, altitude and brains.
Two out of three are needed to successfully complete the
flight."
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"Mankind has a perfect record in aviation.
We never left one up there!"
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"Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a
person on the ground who is incapable of understanding or doing
anything about it."
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"The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just
barely
kill you."
- Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot)
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"There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime."
- Sign over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970
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"If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to."
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"You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes
FULL
power to taxi to the terminal."
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As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having torn
off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives;
the rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks, "What happened?" The
pilot's reply: "I don't know, I just got here myself!"