I've been a little down today. I couldn't put my finger on it until I glanced at my calendar this afternoon and realized that today is the one-year anniversary of my mother's death.
Most psychologist say that losing a parent is a "Life Event." Given my experience with losing both parents, I'd venture to say that's an understatement.
My column is due tomorrow and this afternoon I tried to write about losing her, but the scar is too fresh, and everything I wrote came out sentimental and thin. I smiled as I remembered something she used to say when I was a kid and messed up: "I'll slap you naked and hide your clothes."
As I read over my lame attempt at a tribute to her, I decided to toss what I'd written and do something totally unrelated.
I have spent a lot of time thinking about my mom today. I owe a great deal to her for the person I've become. She didn't have a lot of education, and didn't have the luxury of spending a lot of time reading books, but raised five kids who knew the value of hard work and knew right from wrong.
Toward the end of her life, most of the material things she'd worked for were taken by the system to pay for her healthcare.
But I can tell you the most valuable things she left me, weren't listed on her will. I miss my mom.
Most psychologist say that losing a parent is a "Life Event." Given my experience with losing both parents, I'd venture to say that's an understatement. My column is due tomorrow and this afternoon I tried to write about losing her, but the scar is too fresh, and everything I wrote came out sentimental and thin. I smiled as I remembered something she used to say when I was a kid and messed up: "I'll slap you naked and hide your clothes."
As I read over my lame attempt at a tribute to her, I decided to toss what I'd written and do something totally unrelated.
I have spent a lot of time thinking about my mom today. I owe a great deal to her for the person I've become. She didn't have a lot of education, and didn't have the luxury of spending a lot of time reading books, but raised five kids who knew the value of hard work and knew right from wrong.
Toward the end of her life, most of the material things she'd worked for were taken by the system to pay for her healthcare.
But I can tell you the most valuable things she left me, weren't listed on her will. I miss my mom.
Oh, Rick. I know how deeply you miss your Mom.
ReplyDeleteNo matter how many years go by, that ache never goes away. It just lessens with time.
This month marked the seventh year since my Mummy's death. I've looked back so many times on those final days, thinking about what I'd do differently if I could go back.
But there is no going back. We all did the best we could with what we had.
So I've come to the conclusion, as you will, in your own way and in your own time, that living your life in the best way possible will be your greatest tribute to her.
In your laughter, in your tears, in your joyous moments of celebration and so on, she is there.
She lives within your heart and that is how it will be until you meet again, one day, in the other realm of life. Susan
Thank you Rick! Thank you for sharing your feelings of your dear Mother. My Mom has been gone 9 yrs this past December. I recall reading earlier of you talking about this being the year your Mom passed away. But as I began reading your post, I didn't realize that it had been one year as of today. One fast year, huh? Cherish your memories. I love the thought: "God gave us memories so we could have roses in December." Our memories help us. Our memories are for us. Our memories keep us with them. (hug)
ReplyDeleteYes, a huge understatement. It has been 3 years and 4 months since my father's death at just 61 years of age. The pain dulls a bit but it never ever goes away. I will always miss him as you will always miss your mom.
ReplyDeleteThis is a wonderful tribute to your Mom, Rick. I lost my dad when I was 21 and my Mom when I was 35. It is still painful after all these years...and now..losing my brother 2 weeks ago is a fresh "burn". Tomorrow he would have turned 60 and I am dreading the sunrise as I know it will be a hard day. God bless you- I think we always miss our Moms no matter how old we get- Hugs- Diana
ReplyDeleteWell you said it well in your blog .
ReplyDeleteParents are missed. This never goes away.
Sometimes you want to say something or share something and think I'll call them and then remember they are gone and you become very sad.
How do you communicate with spirits?
Once I had a dream my Dad called and he said Hi! so cheerfully and he was cut off. I knew he was a brat and did something he was not allowed to do but it made me feel soo good that he was happy.
So....
Take heart. Your Mom is in a good place. She is smiling down on you.
She is loving you and she is not missing you because she is always with you.
What a lovely tribute to your mom Rick.
ReplyDeleteMy dad has been gone for over 15 years and I still miss him very much. Have a good day!
Eva
I know your pain well.
ReplyDeleteMy mother died in 2007 and it feels like yesterday. Mine also raised 5 kids and we turned out ok.
Being an orphan stinks.
There is no pain like loss. And there is no loss that doesn't come from great love. God bless.
ReplyDeleteHi Rick - a heartfelt post ... I lost my mother last year and it was six years ago at this time she became ill ... thankfully we were able to benefit from those last years ... I remember and continue to learn - my thoughts to you at this time .. Hilary
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry about your mom. This was a lovely tribute to her. She sounds like a wonderful woman. It does get easier over time, but the loss is always felt. My father died 6 years ago this month, and I still miss him terribly. When good people leave our lives, a part of us goes with them.
ReplyDeleteWise, you are.
ReplyDeleteTouching post, something we can all identify with.
ReplyDeleteThis is such a poignant post. I'm so glad you had that kind of relationship with your mom. She lives on in you still.
ReplyDeleteHi Rick, I can relate to your missing your mom and it's still quite fresh in your mind.
ReplyDeleteI lost my dad in the fall of 2008 and my mom in the summer of 2009. She was dying of cancer of the stomach and suffered much but always a smile on her face and never complaining.
May you be consoled by remembering the happy moments and your favorite cookies she used to bake for you.
Hugs,
JB
This was an absolutely beautiful retrospective Rick. This was very moving.
ReplyDeleteIt's always the anniversaries that get us... take us down memory lane and sometimes it is still too fresh.
ReplyDeleteYour mother sounds like a wonderful woman... sometimes the memories are great:)
What a sweet post, Rick. A beautiful tribute to your mother. Anniversaries are hard...
ReplyDeleteYour mother sounds like an amazing woman who gave you the very best she had. How can you not miss someone like that? But the simple tribute you wrote here for her would have made her so proud. And somewhere, I'm quite sure she knows how much you love her. Beautifully written.
ReplyDeleteTruly beautiful post, full of love and loss and memories that can never be taken from you.
ReplyDelete