I'll be heading to California in a few weeks on a business trip. The hotel where I'm staying is one of the fancy-smancy places and today I got an email re-confirming my visit.
They asked me what time I was scheduled to arrive, if they could help me arrange for private transportation, and whether I preferred a feather or foam pillow.
They also asked about allergies, and whether I had an special dietary requirements.
Obviously they didn't realize that I was an Alabamian with some time on his hands, so I thought what the heck?
I asked if the feathers came from live chickens or dead ones. I also told them I could eat just about anything except those fuzzy fish that sometimes come on pizza. To further clarify my culinary desires, I told them that I wasn't fond of tripe, but given the choice between the fuzzy fish and tripe, I'd go with the tripe.
I ended by telling them that regular grits and unpasteurized buttermilk were fine for breakfast if they had cathead biscuits.
....I wouldn't be surprised if they sent me a follow-up email to say there'd been a mixup in reservations and they were actually overbooked and would have to move me to the local Motel 6 on the edge of town.
They asked me what time I was scheduled to arrive, if they could help me arrange for private transportation, and whether I preferred a feather or foam pillow.
They also asked about allergies, and whether I had an special dietary requirements.
Obviously they didn't realize that I was an Alabamian with some time on his hands, so I thought what the heck?
I asked if the feathers came from live chickens or dead ones. I also told them I could eat just about anything except those fuzzy fish that sometimes come on pizza. To further clarify my culinary desires, I told them that I wasn't fond of tripe, but given the choice between the fuzzy fish and tripe, I'd go with the tripe.
I ended by telling them that regular grits and unpasteurized buttermilk were fine for breakfast if they had cathead biscuits.
....I wouldn't be surprised if they sent me a follow-up email to say there'd been a mixup in reservations and they were actually overbooked and would have to move me to the local Motel 6 on the edge of town.
Sorry we won't get to meet you while you're here!!
ReplyDeleteI would love to see the look on their faces when they read your response. Fuzzy fish and tripe would make me stay home.
ReplyDeleteWhere are you going to be staying? From the picture it looks like it's somewhere in my neck of the woods. The weather has been back and forth, but I know this weekend it will be edging towards 80. Now behave yourself: the fancy schmancy hotel will be a lot nicer than an old Motel 6.
ReplyDeletehahahahahahahahahahahahaha Hilarious.. Glad you are gonna be pampered. Nobody ain't never axed me 'Feather of Foam'. Seriously it will be a great trip and nice that they are supplying great digs. (Unless they have just became over booked) smile..
ReplyDeleteCalifornia can probably handle you for a few days!
I can hear it now. "Did we keep any of the Beverly Hill billies on retainer?"
ReplyDeleteThat made me chuckle. Yeah, a Southern diet would seem alien to them, and you ramped it up a notch.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with your hotel reservation, hahaha. You may get the room farthest from the kitchen...
ReplyDeleteTripe, yuck... fuzzy fish, maybe....
I bet Jilda was rolling her eyes .
Good luck...
JB
Well at least the Motel 6 will leave the light on for ya ;)
ReplyDeleteI just love your response! :) Let us know if they answered ;)
ReplyDeleteOr...you just made their day, and they can't wait to me the character behind the humor!
ReplyDelete